whatever

after a LOUD morning…
waking up to annie yelling about a toy..still in her bed

we needed fresh air.
we made a picnic
mmm…pb&j and doritos
went to the preschool park to look for ms. krisitin’s reported frogs.
we found some…
even jumping onto my toe.
they are so teeny tiny.
talby was catching them.
it was so exciting when they’d find another one.
they were hopping all over.
the frogs and the kids

while doing laundry today i realized i had washed a diaper…what a mess.
diaper fuzz on everything.

we had 4 kids playing at 3 different ball diamonds tonight.
gotta love june!
add in the trains in our town and it gets very interesting.
i missed lauren’s pick-up completely.
i was already late to get to her & then we had to wait on TWO trains.
she got a ride with the coach.
bad mom.
amy jones is there a chapter in your book about not showing up to pick up your child?

And last subject…
my blog is getting 70+ hits a day.
who is reading this?
i am so curious.
please leave me a comment!
if i know you
or if i don’t
you put in your first name and i think your email…they don’t send you anything…it doesn’t give you junk mail…just try it…it’s easy.
i want to know!
one reason….my email inbox is so minimal now that you are all reading my blog.
you check in on me but i never hear about you!
i know all those hits aren’t jenny because she rarely checks in on the blog…
ha ha ha
who are you 70+ hits?
i can’t wait to find out!

tonight lauren and i get to shop for swimsuits.
there will not be photos…

what a nice day.

sleeping a bit late. (almost 9:00!)
kids did their chores with minimal whining.
talby left with her Nana for a cinderella play.
one less child changes everything.
a little gardening.
a little light cleaning.
and then i got to go on a date!
we went to home depot – of course.
it’s not a date without home depot.
dinner out ….steak and mashed potatoes…sooo good.

much needed.
thanks to nana for babysitting.
that’s what i was talking about a few days ago.
just gotta get out of this town.
out of this house and mess.
uninterrupted conversation….i needed that.

at golf on thursday i go to pick up scott and he’s nowhere to be seen.
i talk to some moms for awhile and then he appears out of the bushes saying “we were rescuing frogs!”
but just then a toad jumped up near him and he grabbed it.
all boy.
we took him home.
everyone played with him awhile then we “rescued him” to our neighbor’s pretty pond.
fun stuff.

this post is mostly for grandpa, dave hill and peter.

these boys want to tell their grandpa thank you for the
awesome case full of star wars figures!
they love it!
keep looking at garage sales.
it made their week for sure.

and then to dave hill they wanted to say “are you jealous?”
ha ha ha
can’t you just hear scott’s voice?
the darth vader case doesn’t talk like your C3PO though

and peter they wanted you to see it because of your
appreciation of all things star wars.

it was so sweet watching them set up each little dude all in lines.
then sean ran and changed into his darth vader shirt from aunt lorel.
(excellent birthday gift for this year again too…if you were wondering)

i love that they are into something…
have a collection…
want to learn about it.
star wars is not my favorite by any means but i love their passion.

the collection …. the ones they could find that weren’t under the mattress

scott’s favorite action figure in his set

sean’s favorite “guy” even without an arm.

mom’s favorite….

“luuuuuuuke…..i am your father”

old school VBS

future sandwich artist
subway 2017.

sean was so proud.
he has helped me make his turkey sandwiches
but this one he made completely on his own.
he then made 3 more turkey sandwiches that afternoon.
i was happy he was fed and i didn’t have to do it.

if i can make myself create when i am crabby then i always feel better.
and getting exercise.
i did both last night.

annie came to my bed this morning asking for a show on tv.
we went into the craft room & i started to scrapbook first thing.
rubbing my eyes
still in my wonder woman jammies
listening to cartoons.
pre-coffee even!
it was nice.

this is my first page i have ever made about ME.
ME only.
i want to scrap about me but never do.
i want to keep track of things i like
the way i felt
dreams…goals
but i just never do
until now.
this is page one of many many more to come.
it only took 12 years.

fyi….i love mary j. blige

and my husband got on board with my day off scheduling.
he said “i never really thought about it that you don’t get a day off”
again…12 years….better late than never.
i love you honey.
you always give me what i need. 🙂

and now i must go exercise
because the exterminator just asked me
when my due date was.
idiot.

if you are a mom you may understand this post.
you know the feeling of clausterphobia? or overstimulated? or exhausted? that’s what i am feeling.
the feeling of “there is no end in sight”
i love being a mom.
i love being home with my kids.
i love 99% of our days.
but everyone needs a break.
everyone needs a change.
everyone a way to recharge.
the problem with being a mom is there is no boss, no paycheck, no evaluations (that’s good most days), no clocking in and clocking out.
but most of all there are no vacation days.
my husband get holidays off. do i? if i had job i would have these days off but they wouldn’t be off they would ON – mommy duty.
when you are at work you have decent hours – not 18 hour shifts of “mooooommmmmmyyyy!!”
Or if we do get a day away….you are paying a sitter so you are watching the clock….just knowing your minutes are precious.
or if your husband stays home so you can go out he will be tired and grumpy from doing “your job” all day.
as moms we keep this “mom guilt” with us all the time. sometimes it is so quiet we can ignore the voice and have fun…like at scrapbooking weekend. but even then we all agreed it took the entire first day for us to relax and realize we were off duty. we can let our guard down then.
AND on our days off we get to do fun stuff like bra shopping or swimsuit torture.
i know one answer to my problem is that the time needs to be scheduled and regular.
being pro-active.
and then that scheduled time needs to be honored by everyone. everyone needs to agree that mom needs space. i would love to hear my family say “have fun on your day off!” instead of “when are you coming back?!”
everyone wins when this happens. so why don’t we do it?
i know that i chose to have all these crazy kids but this is also one part of being a mom no matter how many kids you have – learning how to balance without crashing.
i know that i am not saying anything that hasn’t been said a million times but today it is driving me crazy.
i wasn’t even going to post because i am so grumpy but i thought i want to remember this…i want this to change so if i look back in a year and it’s still like this then there is a big problem – and that would be ME.

see i have bad days too.