whatever

i love my new page of my niece Maya Grace even though it took 3 hours to make because i was watching 3 shows – including an Oprah where I was full on sobbing – at the time and it was late at night. craig came in and had to laugh at my crying.
he is a robot. no tears.
i am all tears all the time. i could probably cry on command.
and then talk about crazy . . .
i laughed myself to sleep last night.
sean made me laugh earlier in the evening (not that funny though) and i started talking about it again and i lost it!
i don’t know what came over me but i was laughing like a woman going to the looney bin. at nothing. for a long time. craig kept telling me to stop laughing and go to sleep. i just couldn’t. i also couldn’t breathe. it was hysterical to me. i finally wore myself out and fell asleep. i have to admit that’s a good way to fall asleep.
makes me smile just thinking about it.
i think it was a my body releasing stress. better that way than yelling or more crying.

i was so happy to see my old friend Chad today. it is so nice to have friends who are able to pick up where you left off from the past visit no matter how long it’s been . . . comfortable . . . genuine real friendship. . . timeless.
it was too short of a visit but that’s just life. and sorry again for the not having any food. we should have gone to pizza hut to relive the good old days of our employment.
i wish you didn’t live in Seattle but i don’t think you’d like it in Newton anyway. can’t wait to see you in December again!
talby took this picture of us!

what a beautiful day today.

just beautiful.

we surprised the kids this morning with their very own Easter bunny.
i know it’s silly. it wasn’t something it was planning to do.
i went on friday to see a piano we were considering buying and left with a bunny.
that is just so typical ME!!
the family selling the piano is moving and she was showing me other things she had for sale and we walked past a rabbit in the hutch twice and i finally said “What are you doing with your bunny?”
saturday night i drove out with my friend and we picked up the rabbit at 10:30 PM!! it was just fun.
i didn’t sleep well . . . fearing it would get loose or our cat would kill it before we got up.

it was great. they were so happy. so surprised. i heard from lauren “Oh Awesome!!” i loved that.

they are debating on names.

Donuts
Surprise
Thumper
Betsy
Bo

I am going to call him Donuts even if i’m the only one.

our church service was uplifting. lots of singing today and sean was arm in arm with me smiling brightly. it was full to the back. it was neat to see so many people there.

we got cooking right away when we got home. lauren and scott helped prepare food. talby was in her element setting the table with cloth napkins even.
we had family and friends here for a yummy dinner. craig made a ham and it was fabulous. i only tried one new recipe and was pleased with the results. our house is never calm and quiet but our friends know that and it’s okay . . . right?
and then strawberry cake with fresh strawberries. mmmmm

while clean up was going on in the kitchen i hid the eggs.
so much time goes into a 2 minute egg hunt!
but they love the race to find the hardest ones. to be fair we make them all get the same number . . . stop when you hit 14.
then the trading begins . . . i will give you my jelly beans if i can have your kisses.

after all that there is nothing to do but take a long nap.

now i think i need a little more strawberry cake.

we had in a snow storm . . .
the day before a four day break with these kids.
i hope it melts quickly.
except then there is mud.

i don’t have too much planned for them for Easter break.
movie on friday maybe? if i can find a sitter for annie.
bowling sometime over the four days?
we joked last week that bowling was going to be our new Easter tradition instead of egg hunting. i think we’ll still do both this year.
i bought them a new game that we will TRY to play all together – Zoo-reeka. but it rarely goes as planned.
i would like to think i would color eggs with them but to be honest the mess of dye in my white kitchen makes my stomach hurt. That is a bad mom i know but it’s DYE.
lauren still needs an Easter dress. (Need is the wrong word.) I want her to have something new because all the others have a new outfit. And she is the only one who will care that everyone has a new outfit but her. So we have to try to squeeze that in somewhere.

but my main focus to trying to keep Jesus in the front of my mind. It’s Easter and I get so busy or overwhlemed with all the kids home or planning easter baskets that i don’t think about Jesus till i sit in the pew on sunday morning. so I am trying to change my focus. be in prayer. being so thankful. I am trying. there is alot of sad stuff going on and i need to be so grateful.
thank you Lord for everyday.

have a blessed good friday.
here some pictures from the last few days that warm my heart.

do you think this is what the real spiderman’s laundry room looks like too.

in my defense these clothes are all clean except the small pile on the floor. . . but folded is another story.

when the kids are all asleep this is what we do for fun . . .

sewing a slipcover for the couch (still – 3 months later)
spackle-ing the plaster walls in the front entry to get ready for paint

and poor craig . . . i made him listen to Oprah for half of it!

speaking of Oprah . . . did anyone see that family that took their 4 kids (14 – 4 years of age) on a 365 day trip around the world? That would be too cool.
i also read a book a year or so ago called Honeymoon with My Brother (not trying to sound smart . . it’s 1 of 3 books I have read in 3 years) that was about 2 brothers going on a trip around the world.
i dont see any world travel in my future at all especially with 5 kids in tow but THE IDEA is awesome. what an experience. What different people we would be. how eye opening for everyone.
too cool.
but i don’t camp well and it’s pretty much a given for world travel on a budget.

a funny thing about the same Oprah show . . . I was watching it earlier today while two men were here working on the house. they were in the room next to me and i was mopping the floor in the living room. i am watching this Oprah and it got sad and i was totally crying. . . i mean many kleenexes are needed. and these guys are 10 steps away. i could’ve turned it off but i didn’t. i guess i am so used to my crying at everything. but i kept thinking “oh my gosh if they walk in here right now . . . awkward!” they didn’t and i pulled it together in time to pay them!!

after talking online with a friend today I realized how crabby i really was. I need to spend some real time with God to work this stuff out! I am feeling all a mess.
but even just acknowledging that God CAN handle my moods and feelings made me feel better. I know He can and that He wants to. He wants me to come to Him with everything. He wants me to be a great mom. He wants my children to feel loved and only He can teach me the right way to do it! He is amazing. I just have to ask Him. I have to make that time to hear what He is saying. really listen.
after she and i chatted back and forth i felt WAY better and definitely understood. thank you.
deciding that part of my bad mood was the list i have of things to do and wanting to do it all today – with 2 little kids here. it just wasn’t happening. they kept trying to play with me an i kept telling them to “go play” till finally i had hurt their feelings.
so i threw the list away.
then we played.
we painted.
we made playdoh things.
we went to Sonic.
we went to the park.
we went for a walk.
we did . . . nothing and it was good for me and them.

The chores are changing around here tomorrow.
they are all unaware of what tomorrow will bring.
for 2 years now lauren has emptied the dishwasher each load and scott has put away the silverware.
as of tomorrow . . .
talby will empty the dishes
sean will put away silverware
and the 2 of them will share the job of setting the table.
scott and lauren will share the job of clearing the table and then LOADING the dishwasher.
This is where things will be difficult.
if they cannot work together i guess they will have to switch off who does what.

basically i am feeling overworked? irritated? under appreciated? (all by the kids not by Craig – he’s super)

i buy the groceries.
put away the groceries.
plan the meals.
prepare the meals.
listen to crying and complaining all through the meals.
and then I CLEAN UP the MEALS! (with Craig’s help)
well . . . no more.

(i will have to clean up after they clean up but i am okay with that.)

so be prepared for me whining about their whining.
only the older 3. talby loves it all! she would do all of it on her own if i’d let her.
maybe i should let her!
and i always have one more helper when she needs something to keep her busy.
she kept shouting “Whoa! dat’s a BIG spoon!”

gotta go to bed – it’s midnight!