first thing…..
apparently the awesome quote came from the show How I Met Your Mother.
i have only seen that show twice so i googled it.
here it is.
i want to say that i know OF COURSE it's not easy to just overcome being sad.
and i wasn't sad.
just feeling BLAH.
it's january.
that is what i do.
but i do really like the idea of BEING AWESOME.
🙂
i mean just say it out loud "today i will be awesome"
you will feel it.
it's helpful.
i dare you to try it.
OK.
great questions girls…i love to answer questions.
question one:
what is your favorite NON-disney movie?
i have a bunch.
i will share by category:
suspense – Signs
The Fugitive
drama – i can't think of any!!! i am blank.
chick flick – Julie & Julia.
i love so much about this movie.
i love the blogging.
i love the acting….meryl streep is just….amazing.
what i love the most….the love between paul and julia. it's beautiful.
"it was julia. it was julia all along"
makes me tear up.
i also love...You've Got Mail
Sleepless in Seattle
romance – The Holiday
The Family Man
anything where i get to look at Mr. Clooney
comedy – Parenthood is a CLASSIC.
The Money Pit also a CLASSIC.
and to me….anything with Vince Vaughn or Will Ferrell…
action – Bourne Identity…Bourne Supremecy….Bourne Ultimatum
Mr and Mrs. smith….they are both just so easy on the EYES!!!
question two:
what's going on in the dining room?!!
well whenever i take pictures i don't like them much….so i have been waiting.
but i am just going to show you.
the light is funky until like 20 minutes before sunset and then i'm making dinner.
so these are from this morning.
print is from the wheat field….matte is micheal miller fabric.
print from studio mela….matte is an old map.
all my frames are from the thrift shop or antique store….i have been collecting for years.
the yellow lamps were silver from a garage sale 10 years ago.
now the red box is across the room and i asked sean to display his lego space shuttle in that space. :)
it's perfect size and pretty safe from being knocked over and it's in view instead of in a box.
pool table….from a friend's garage. foos ball table…from a friend. and now a ping pong (dining room) table for $10.
dining room twice a year….game room the other 363 days.
that caricature is of lauren when she was little made at Six Flags. i found it again…i love it.
also her octopus art made in first grade.
the chandelier is from the kane county flea market in may of 2010.
bird canvas is from Pier One….in a antique store frame.
craig's chairs are from craigslist.
now his friends can sit down inbetween turns playing pool. :)
my sister painted this for me for my birthday.
SIGH.
i told you i love cow paintings…..and this…..i LOVE.
also in an identical frame from the antique store.
the paint color on the walls is antique white.
the trim is done in Kilz primer first then Ultra Bright Behr semi-gloss paint.
question three:
does your hairstyle have a name for me to tell my stylist?
i am pretty sure it's called a wedge haircut….amy please speak up if i am wrong.
question four:
where in the world would you like to visit?
i think anywhere tropical is where i would want to spend time with craig…all alone for a long time.
this was in google images….don't you just feel GOOD when you look at it?
i can practically smell the ocean.
mr. duerksen…..are you looking? can you feel it???
but i also really want to see more of Africa.
all over Africa.
i want to see it…experience it….meet people….open my eyes…help where i can….love who i can….
ALL OF IT.
i want to have africa in my heart forever.
question five:
when did you decide to start charging for photography?
when people started asking me to take their family pictures.
they encouraged me and built up my confidence with compliments and telling their friends about me.
i charged a small amount at first so i could get experience and decide if i even enjoyed it as work.
when i realized i did then i just went for it.
it was scary. and vulnerable.
but worth it.
question six:
what do you do all day with the kids in school?
enjoy a quiet house.
i spend a lot of time on the computer….blogging, answering email and reading blogs.
i do laundry, i pick up the house (a little), i go to the grocery store (UGH…this is so old to me….i am over it).
i workout a few times a week.
i edit photos from may – november and then hopefully sew from january – april for my etsy shop.
i read my bible study stuff or a book to help me cope for that given day
(Crazy Love….Praying the Sriptures for your Children…Love and Logic…5 Love Languages….)
i make dinner.
if i am tired i take a nap.
this next few weeks i will be purging all the closets and rooms of all the JUNK.
bags and bags i am sure.
i am not a schedule kind of girl.
i am the opposite.
so i just do what i need to for that day…and what i feel like doing….schedules make me crazy.
and i like to go to lunch if my friend asks or run to target in wichita on a whim.
question seven:
where do you find inspriation?
blogs.
blogs are so cool.
anything you could want….it's there!
occasionally i go to B&N and get a BIG pile of books and magazines i want to look at…a coffee…and i sit.
but knowing i will sound like an old lady….
it's usually too loud in there.
the music is ok but someone is ALWAYS blabbing away on their cell phone.
i cannot stand that.
and with my ADD brain i can't focus on anything but that person on the phone…driving me crazy.
i bring my iPod now and try my very best to tune them out.
question eight:
how do you take indoor pictures with out a flash?
i usually shoot in P because years ago Karen Russell said that is what she shoots in (or did at the time).
and i change my ISO to a higher number because you need more light in when you're inside.
i also change my White Balance to whichever setting we are using….Sun symbol if it's lit well from the windows…
or AWB it's just overheard lighting.
i honestly do not like my inside photos…but if you do….that is how i get them.
i feel i need to learn a LOT about my camera still….every day.
indoor pictures are hard for everyone….i think.
our house has lots of big windows so in the day we have good light but i think you were asking about at night?
this is at night.
all the lights are on…chandliers and recessed lighting…brightly lit…my ISO was probably 1600…on AWB.
did i answer your question?
question nine:
what do you use to edit your pictures?
every photo that has been on this blog has been edited in iPhoto or Picnik.
i did buy Photoshop but STILL haven't loaded it.
who has time for this?!!
i need to do it but i just feel overwhelmed and don't want to fail.
soon.
soon.
soon.
question ten:
what kind of make-up do you use?
in june 2010 my friend Kimberlee took me for a MAC-over.
it was fabulous.
i was hooked.
i love using grown up make-up….i feel pretty (oh so pretty…i feel pretty and witty and…ok i will stop now).
i want to do a whole post about it sometime….with video. :)
would you like that?
but my mascara that was asked about specifically….Maybeline Great Lash.
cheapy in the green and pink package.
love it.
use it everyday.
*************************************************************************************************
ok…more questions to be answered tomorrow.
THANKS for asking.
now i will return to my cleaning binge.
Cliff Spears - Watching “How I Met Your Mother” makes me laugh a lot, due to their approach on making people laugh, especially whenever Barney’s there to entertain. Even his words of wisdom apply in the real world, just like taking negativity away, and being awesome instead. I dunno if this is just me, but every time I suit up and pick between purple ties or my red tie, I always remember him doing his pose, like it was etched in my brain.
Michelle - I have a question and a suggestion:
Question- What was it like for you being a young mom? I had my first child when I was 20 and my biggest challenge was probably connecting to the other moms of kids in his class because they were all at least 15 years older than me. He’s almost 16 and sometimes I still feel a little out of the loop with his friends’ parents. I’ve found everything to be easier this time around (my second child is 6).
Suggestion- You are already obviously a talented photographer, but to take it to the next level, I would really look into the workshops over at clickinmoms.com . I was able to start shooting solely in manual mode (and trust me, that was a miracle!) and they also have Photoshop classes. Their classes run for a month and they have weekly assignments and tons of feedback from the instructor. They’re not cheap, but worth every penny. I’m not affiliated with them at all, but I just could not believe how much I learned from their “Rock Your Camera” class.
Love your blog! We made your snowman ornaments over Christmas vacation and I will treasure those messy little handprints forever.
A - CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME Where your family picture canvas is from, the one on your mantle?
Thanks!
Emily - This is a little off subject but I know Africa has a place in your heart. http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/ it is a blog of a woman who is in her early 20 who moved to africa a adopted 14 girls who were abandoned and uncared for. Her jurney speaks of Gods will and it a true testiment to what he can do in times of need. Whenever I need hope I turn to her blog.
dotsie (aka podso) - You know, there is a saying that says something like this, “Once you have drunk from the rivers of Africa you must return to drink again.”
jennibell - My MIL had the pool table in her dining room for YEARS and hated it. . .but we all loved not having to go into the basement to play pool and “be away” from everyone else. It’s since been moved back down and it’s too bad. . .I know the kids don’t play nearly as much now.
I’m always inspired by your house and style. And honesty. I would have a hard time listing the things you do each day when the kids are at school and not feeling guilty about it. I always feel I should be “doing” something — although, yes, I know laundry and grocery shopping and making dinner are important – ha! Maybe I’ll just keep coming to you for counseling 🙂
We don’t have television service and rely on videos for our entertainment — How I Met Your Mother is one of the few series we DO watch — you should take Mel up on her offer to borrow them. . .and thanks, too, for all the movie suggestions from you and other readers — I’m making a list!!! We watched Shrek Ever After yesterday and I was surprised how much I liked it — great family message!!
Mary - Thanks for the insight into your “hectic” and “adventurous” life!
Tara M. - My living room USED to have a pool table, life sized Chewbacha cutout, and a huge American flag on the wall. I like your dining room so much more! I loved Julie and Julia. I need to watch it again!
emily - You are fun. Thanks for being honest and just yourself. You are delightful.
asibtroy - reset my camera and am trying out with the ISO and AWB! THX!
My husband challenged me to do the picture a day thing on my blog this year and I find I’m taking most of the photos in the dark…
Meredith - I’d love to see a list of what blogs you read regularly too! Love this post 🙂
Kari - Fun post! ‘How I Met Your Mother’ is one of my very favorite shows. I love your Dining/Game Room, especially the vintage maps. Very cool thanks for sharing!
Holly - The haircut is called an inverted bob….atleast that’s what my stylist (and bff) calls it. I had that cut for years! I’m growing it out now!
Crystal Paine - Have you ever posted a list of all the blogs you read? I know on some blogs it will show who they are following, but I haven’t been able to find that on yours, maybe because it’s in typepad? Anyway, I’d love to see what blogs you read cause I’m sure I’d love them! This was a great post, would love to see the MAC video, I wear MAC too, my friend & I had the Mac-over done in November, although I’d already been wearing it for a few years, but it was fun! I love your house, and the pictures that you post. You take great pictures & I’d love to see photography tips. I made the snowman handprint ornaments with my kids, those were fun & turned out super cute! My daughter got a purse for Christmas from her grandparents, it says Whatever on it & has little rainbows & other lil’ pics. I thought of you when I saw it! I’ll try to send you a pic of it someday! Do you watch Big Bang Theory? My husband & I love it, it’s my favorite “funny” show!
DaisyDuke - Question 3, Inverted Bob or Pob (Posh Bob)
Devremülk - Nice post. I love it. Waiting your new posts. Thank you…
Julie - Awesome post Meg! 🙂
Speaking of awesome, have you seen this this TED talk? I think you’d like it. http://www.ted.com/talks/neil_pasricha_the_3_a_s_of_awesome.html
The dining room looks GREAT!
Dana@Bungalow'56 - Hey Megan,
I too only use my iPhoto and Picnik, and while that works fine, sometimes I want to be able to do so much more. Just thought I would let you know there is a free mini e-course for photoshop. I haven’t even bought photoshop yet and will just download the free trial for the course, to see if it’s worth it for me. It starts tomorrow and lasts until the 21st~ I think. I found out about it on a blog where the edits are just beautiful. I asked the blogger how she had learned to use photoshop and she sent me to KimKlassenCafe. I’m really excited to see what she has to offer, and since it’s free I figure I have nothing to lose.
Dana
Jenna - I don’t know if your question about the makeup was rhetorical or not, but yes, I would love it!
Jaimie - i love when you do these : )
Laura - Wow.. it’s crazy how much we have in common!!! But the thing that stood out the most was the “add brain” inside of bookstores. I am very much the same and can not concentrate with all of the people milling about.
And the Bourne movies…. my family has seen each of them at LEAST 10 times. I want to see a face off between Jason Bourne and Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie’s character in the movie “Salt”)
I adore your house even more now that I know you have your dining/living space as a game room. Awesome.
Gemma - I really enjoy these posts!! Loving the dinning room : )
Gemma x
Jen@thecottagenest - Meg, I absolutely *LOVE* what you have done with your dining room. I love not using a room as it is intended but instead using it in a way that works for your family. Bold and inspiring. That’s what you are.
elisa - Holy crap I love that cow painting!!! Will she sell me one??
mandy falgout - wow, love this post. thanks for being you and being real. i just got a friend to try mac makeup and she loves it. i have heaps of it, but don’t wear anything at the moment since moving to phnom penh, cambodia. i sweat so much here it seems like a waste, so i go au natural all the time. kind of liberating. weird. i seriously think we could be twins from different mommas. you and i have many similar tastes, likes and loves of things.
keep rockin’ it!
Steffie - Would love to know where you got the map art above the buffet and the collection of globes? I’m sure you’ll saying something fun like thrift stores or a flea market…. I wish our little island had the same offerings as the mainland, sigh! Have a great weekend Meg!
Miss Tiff - Hi Meg. I’m new here. I read two posts in the past month that linked here and now I’m stuck on u too.
A few things, you are not afraid to use to color. I’m a wimp. 90% of my closet is solids, but I’m turning it up a notch, yo. The spare room is my inspiration.
Fav Movie. I like a few of your choices, but you have to promise to try and watch WAITRESS. It is my new favorite. It’s definitely a chic flic but u will laugh and maybe cry a tear too. My new fav, I watch it whenever I feel blue.
Last thing, Your blog is an awesome read, it has a tone of wit, reality and luv. Best Reality blog award goes to you. Happy New Year!!
angela - Sitting here this Saturday morning in front of my gas logs reminds me of a cold Saturday a year ago when I found your blog. I never took my pj’s off that day. i read EVERY SINGLE entry of yours….and was hooked! I love that Lauren is a normal teenager with trials and an attitude! I love the name Talby. I love that you have a craft day for your kids. I adore your craft room and your big, old house. I love that you went down the slip and slide and even showed us! I love the rainbow cake and the shots of your mudroom and that you show us mountains of laundry. Yours remains one of my favorite *real* blogs! Thanks for sharing! Happy 2011. This is going to be a great year! God bless you and your family!
LouBoo - Hello…I haven’t stopped by for a while (do you ever get that where you end up following so many blogs that it becomes impossible to look at all of them and then I have guilt about unfollowing people to make life simpler – that is sooo not what blogging is all about!). Anyway – reading this reminded me why I like your blog. Utter honesty! And your movie pics – like me you sound like a girl who has a soft spot for the 80s but doesn’t mind when it’s up to date either! Lots of my faves are on your list. Plus I like the description of your day at home. I do the same…and taking a nap – I do that too although I probably would not admit it to everyone! But honestly – what better thing is there than taking a nap in the daytime? That so reminds me of pre-children life. Anyway – I am glad I popped by and had this ‘chat’!! Lou xx
meghan - the globes and canvas are my favs. love your blog. always will. tgif!
Kendra - You could totally have Africa in your heart forever if you adopted….just sayin 🙂 🙂 🙂
Megan - I used to use Picnik also and when I finally got around to using PS it went SO MUCH faster when editing pics. You will wish you would have done way sooner! BTW Kimberlee and friends introduced me to MAC as well…I’ll come video for you guys! 🙂
sara@augustfields - you’re a doll. love your candidness….so refreshing 🙂 cute setup on the dresser!
Kristin S - I think these posts are some of my favorite. When I saw you ask for any questions I was exhausted reading through all the questions. Well done responding/answering.
Very, very fun.
I wonder why we are so intrigued by everyone’s normal lives. It is refreshing to know that we all do laundry. Grocery shop. Normal stuff.
Thanks for sharing!
Rachel / cREaTe - i love it when you do this smorgasbord of question answering. 🙂 so fun & i get new ideas … and reminded of things like that i need to rent julie & julia! forgot that was on my “list”. love your theory on why you have a game room instead of just a dining room. that’s our theory on why we’ve never really had a guest room … and instead do an office or craft studio – with a lil’ futon over on the side [sorry guests]. 🙂
shannon - I LOVE this post! LOVE LOVE LOVE! I also LOVE the collection of cameras….where did they all come from? Yes MAC video would be awesome!
Kimberlee J. - The video MAC over is so on.
Sharry Sullivan - What a wonderful blogpost! Thank you…
Elizabeth - What program/how did you nake your 35 before 35 list?
Karla - I too have to ask – Kane County, IL?!?!? The county in which I live? And I missed your coming?? Drat.
elma riedstra - Oh I love your dinning room:) Oh I would love your sister to paint me a cow:) Love this post!!
hannah - Please do a makeup video 😀 You’re totally awesome!
And I LOVE your house! Seriously, I want it. Have you seen a tumblr blog called this pretty space? Lots of awesome pictures in your kind of style 😀
Amber - I have really enjoyed reading your blog for a while now and agree with you that blog surfing is fantastic! : ) My husband thinks I am crazy for looking in on people I dont even know, but the blogs I follow, I follow for a reason. I feel that if I actually met any of these people, we would be great friends! Also, just want to say I love the Julia and Julia movie too! Have you listened to My Life In France? It’s a memoir of Julia Childs’ life. Great Book! God Bless you, and keep typing hon, as you are a virtual friend and I love hearing about what you do!
se7en - Ooooh So much to love here… love the window into your life… Come over and visit Cape Town – it’s in Africa after all and we would love to meet you all!!!
Tiffany - Oh.My.Word – that dining room is AWESOME!!! Love it!
I am still reading the archives and perhaps you have covered it – but I would like to know if you are planning on doing a little photography workshop. You take great pics – and I always love to learn new tips and tricks from others.
BTW…in my mind I always hear “whatever” in that “80’s valley girl” style… Do you do that? 😀
Jenny B. - Fun! I had to chuckle when I read this: “craig’s chairs are from craigslist.” Hee-hee. 🙂
Oh, and if you love cow paintings, you should check out the new shop a couple of my friends just opened: Red Hill Gallery in Fayetteville, AR. If you live in/near Wichita, it would only be about a 4-hr. drive (I think). Weekend getaway? Anywho… here is their new blog:
http://www.redhillgallery.blogspot.com/
And their individual etsy shops:
Shannon’s: http://www.etsy.com/shop/donkeysandturkeys
and Cari’s: http://www.carihumphry.com/
I love all your photos. I think my favorite thing about your house is that it looks fresh and modern (well, because vintage is the new modern? maybe? yes?). Anyway, it’s “in style,” yet colorful (not all white and neutrals). 🙂
happygirl - Loved this post. LOVED IT! I’m new to blogging and so happy if I have 1/2 an hour to blog. I don’t take pictures, but I’d love to learn. Love the movie Julie and Julia too. LOVE IT! I can watch the movie Mother with Debbie Reynolds and Albert Brooks over and over (my husband HATES it) And, I think I’d love the beach more if I didn’t look so horrible in a bathing suit.
Katie Adams - I love you. Your blog is so fun to read. Check out my recent cow purchase on my blog. I love her, too. Have you named your cow? I think they need names.
Cari - Fun post! I’m sitting in my living room and it opens up to my kitchen and dining room. And compared to what I just saw of your dining room… it is so BLAH!!! Note to self… never let my girls see your house. They’ll totally give you cool mom of the year award. 😉 Oh, and the links for the wheat field and studio mela both route back to studio mela. Just thought you’d like to know! Have a great, blah-free weekend! 🙂
heidi @ wonder woman wannabe - i think that cut is also called an angled bob – i’ve sported one on and off since college and am back with it now-a-days, only with a new color:
take a peek, if you like…
http://www.wonderwomanwannabe.com/2011/01/lately.html
your dining room looks great to me!!
and, I’d join you for a movie night anytime – i can’t claim a favorite either – but love all the ones you listed. have you seen ‘the curious case of benjamin button’? that’s one of my favorite dramas.
Julie - I love “Julie & Julia” as well. I love Julia Child. So much so, I threw a dinner party in her honor.
http://areasontogettogether.blogspot.com/2010/10/mastering-art-of-french-cooking-dinner.html
Nancy from the Chicago 'burbs - Kane County Flea Market? The one in Illinois, 20 minutes from my door? If so, I LOVE that place. I love spending the morning there with my girlfriends. So many great treasures.
Becky @ Farmgirl Paints - Love most all of your movies. The firm is a good drama. Salt and Bourne for action. The Holiday, 50 first dates, You’ve Got Mail for romance. I use MAC too and believe it or not Maybeline Great Lash for mascara. It’s creepy how much we have in common. Cute cow;)
Georgia - Thanks for the indoor w/out flash lighting tip!! i didnt think to do that with my Canon. Im practising now indoors! :o)
I would love to see more videos of your family and you doing general ‘Meg’ stuff.
I Love the way you have put together the dining room, its fab.
Also… one place in Africa i would 100% recommend is Egypt, its totally amazing, seriously i was so over whelmed at the amazing places there i wanted to cry. My boyfriend thought i was crazy… we did a cruise down the Nile and i stayed in the cabin and just watched people from the window, swimming, playing and washing in it… it was a moving experience 🙂
xxx
Amanda-ThriceBlessed - I love the posts when you show your house the best! Your dining room looks great! Love all the white, globes, and family photos. Very much my style too!
Beth - love these type post…heck i enjoy all your post
hey i would love to get some tips on makeup and what to do
live in small town with no makeup artist around to share the true aspects of makeup do’s and don’t
crystal beutler - Love all your answers !! We are so kindred spirits. If you come to So. Cal this year, you have to call me!!!!!!!! You do.
Glad to see you got your cow picture. If you haven’t learned photo shop yet I am so impressed that you get such great photographs!!! I rely heavily on photo shop. Go to Lynda.com if you want to learn how to use it. I’ve loved that site. And I’ve loved using the Actions created by the Pioneer Woman. You will understand more about actions when you take the Photo shop tutorials 🙂
I love your house. It’s just way too cool. I need to come shopping in your neck of the woods, and you need to come shopping in mine. We have some junk/antique stores here.
P.S. Let me know when you want to do a giveaway. 🙂
pam - We just discovered How I Met Your Mother….my husband still can’t believe that I love it. We need to start over from the beginning. I’m with you on a tropical location…blue water….someday.
Toni :O) - You are beautiful inside and out…thanks for sharing all the tidbits…your blog is definitely one of my FAVORITES!!! So, here’s my question…what do you love MOST about your hubby? Have a fabulous weekend!!!
Heather - Howdy! Just wanted to pass along a great resource for learning photoshop — because you’re right, who has time?! 🙂 Lynda.com has great video tutorials and in a matter of a few hours, you’ll feel like a pro. You pay a monthly fee but could learn all you really want to in a weekend or two.
love your blog. A regular stop each morning with my coffee:)
Dayna - The haircuts that you featured on this post are usually called an inverted bob. A wedge shares a lot of the same characteristics but if you’re specifically looking for the stacked back and longer sides, you’ll want to ask your stylist for an inverted bob and then have a very specific conversation about lengths and the grade of that stacking because it varies pretty wildly.
sarah - thank you for letting us pick your brain! and YES to the mac video! i loved the video of craft day with the kids…it felt like an insider’s scoop. :]
Kristen @ JLS - How fun to read this post!! Do you ever watch the television show Parenthood, on NBC Tues. It’s great, I recommend tuning in for sure!
shauna reed - you are so generous with yourself meg.
i love the way you displayed your family photo shoot!
i have been trying to figure out how to use a bunch of the ones we had done, this is INSPIRING!
you are awesome!
mel - This was SO fun to read! I love learning about you, we would have fun if we ever met 🙂
How I met your Mother is one of our favorite shows! We own all the seasons on DVD…you can borrow them if you want. Let me know & I can mail them to you 🙂
Have a great weekend, Meg!
Shana - “How I Met Your Mother” just took my top spot for funny TV – beating out The Office & Will and Grace.
I love every character – except Robin, I find her boring.
Barnie is the best – and I’m not talkin’ bout no dinosaur.
Laura - My mom sent me this when I needed a pick me up! I am a mom of 3 little ones all under the age of 3 so I watch this ALOT! Hope you enjoy it! 🙂
I’d like you to meet your new life coach:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg
Sonia - If you haven’t already, you should watch Date Night!! We are going to watch Dinner For Schmucks tonight! I love Steve Carell!!
Do all the cameras on your shelf work?
Trina McNeilly - Fun post. I love the cow painting you’re sister did…..soo cool. I love the Kane County Flea Market. I was just thinking of how I ned to go soon!
x Trina
sara @ it's good to be queen - wow that was awesome, love these kind of posts. 🙂 and yes, do a mac video.
sandy toe - Great movies…have you seen “while You were Sleeping”…love that movie!
sandy toe
virginia - i love that cow painting!
Ali - Wait! I didn’t get my question in!
I love the name Talby and I wanted to know how you came up with it considering your four other children all have traditional names. (have you answered this question already?)