whatever

Sandy - This has been encouraging to me, knowing I am not alone in the sibling rivalry. The fighting is so depleting and I agree that at this point, all there is is prayer. Thank you for your honesty.

Cara @ Twice Lovely - That pic of the ruby slippers in air… one of the best pics I’ve seen all year, Meg.

Kara - oh thank you for this. mine are still in the baby phase, but I can totally understand where you’re coming from because with us it’s WHINING. oh my goodness, nothing drives me closer to the edge! I feel like my days are consumed with praying to be rational and patient! I guess it is training me for the days of fighting that will come 🙂 hang in there, meg!

Donna - I can sooooo relate!! I feel like the answer is always the same though-PRAY! Pray all day long if you have to. I am still learning too. I think we will always be learning to have more Faith 🙂

Karen - How true that it will still happen. But my mom’s policy, with 5 girls and one boy, was ‘let them fight it out alone’ and believe me, it was a big policy failure. I was determined to not adopt it. As the youngest, I was always the ‘whipping boy’ for stronger, older sisters.
I held my 5 kids accountable for their actions of how they treated each other, and though there were many bumps in the road (most ALL of them comitted by the oldest-so they all learned from his mistakes), they are all close now. We truly enjoy getting together, and they celebrate each others little victories via email, and texting, even though they are very scattered geographically over the last few years. Hooray! (I dread getting together with some of my siblings and their kids.) Don’t get me wrong, I understand my mom did what she thought was right, but, uh, it wasn’t. Keep fighting the good fight, Meg. It pays off in teaching them compassion and empathy.

Andrea R. - My girls fight and fight and fight. The next minute they are lovey dovey…only to fight again in an instant. Sometimes my solution to it all is to separate them because even though they fight constantly, they cannot stand to be separated even more. You are right ~ this is harder than I imagined and I was fully aware that is would not be a piece of cake.

kim - I so understand what you are going through! I also miss the little babies that are always sweet and are so innocent. I have four boys and my youngest is 3. He has already started to pick up the “fighting” Thank you for your post. Thank you for your honesty. It truly makes me feel like I’m not alone. It wears you down…But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I know one day they will be adults and past the neverending bickering. Glad you enjoy the moment..That is what gets you through 🙂

Tami - feeling your pain the last several months!! Prayer!! That is it!! I need to be doing more of it!! Thanks for the reminder!

Kristin S - Meg, seems you’ve touched a nerve for so many who couldn’t express in words what they were feeling. You did.
I’ve passed this post and comments on to a few mom friends and they’ve also been encouraged.
See? Those unplanned posts….

Tami C. - I am SO glad you wrote this post and SO glad I read it. My girls are 7 & 10 and oy, do they fight. They also pick at me, ugh. I asked my friend who raised 3 great girls for wisdom, she said “dark chocolate”. I asked for me or for them, she said “both”. We’re all is this together!

Katrina - You are totally not the only one. I’ve got two girls who are my world but it breaks my heart and frustrates daily to see them pick on each other. I grew up with 5 (yes 5!) step-sisters and I understand that it is indeed normal. It’ll mellow out more and more as they get older. In the meantime, I think prayer is just what we’ve got to do. I pray for patience and tolerance every single night. Seems to be helping. Most of the time. 😉

s - oh thank you for this – this truth, this honesty, this painting of not such a rosy pretty picture because this is my reality too – the constant sniping. the anger, the hurt, and then my boiling over anger when it pushes me over the top – its so draining, so unnecessary. how many times can I actually repeat the same old thing “don’t say anything if you can’t say anything nice” (with a “it will be awfully quiet ’round here muttered under my breath) or “if you don’t let it get to you, she’ll stop – she just likes to get a reaction out of you”. no idea the solution. make them sit together and hold hands? send them to their rooms? I don’t know. I hope the fresh air will lessen the fighting – maybe feeling penned up fuels their fire. I just hope it ends before the youngest gets in on the action!

Jen - The most encouraging thing I’ve heard on the subject was “parenting expert” Dennis Raney (Family Life Today) saying his kids faught until the day the last one left for college. He has six kids. I think he said they are friends now ;). I think we teach and redirect and teach and redirect but it is “when they are OLD they will not depart from it” (as in train up a child in the way he should go…). It’s not here in the daily process of raising them we see the seeds we planted…though we catch glimpses like you did when you took these pictures.
Blessings from another mom in the trenches!

Beth - Yes. It is so hard. I wonder where they learned to respond like that? I don’t respond like that. Their dad doesn’t respond like that . . with mean words, door slamming, etc. I have been really working on talking calmly, not getting upset/angry myself. It’s hard. And they still respond angrily sometimes. Prayer seems like the only answer! (And by the way, I love Miss Talby’s boots. If they made those in my size, I would have them. Also, those sparkly sneakers that light up. They would be mine.)

kristin - i can relate. completely. i hate the mom i become so quickly when there is fighting…or complaining…or whining…or backtalking…or ungratitiude…
i’m humbled and ashamed often.
ugh.
but yes, god has a hope for this all. i want to find it.

Shaun - You aren’t alone….we’re in the throes of that right now too!

Katie - Thank you for your transparency. It’s encouraging to read! My girls are 5, 2, and 9 months, and I know I have some rough years ahead of me as they grow. The older 2 play together pretty well now, but there are days that things seem to all fall apart, and I worry about if my sanity will stay intact in the coming years!
Lately I’ve been encouraging myself by the reminder that kids just tend to act their age. So my 5 year old will act like a 5 year old, and so on. So when they’re 18, they’ll act like 18 year olds, 30 like 30 year olds, and so on. I don’t know why this encourages me, but it does! I guess maybe because it reminds me that they won’t be stuck at a difficult age forever.
I also am encouraged to think that God will slowly change and mature my girls just as He has gradually changed and matured me. God has used my struggles and mistakes to teach and grow me, and the same will be true of my girls. I love to think of myself as a gentle nurturer into adulthood, because growing up and being an adult can sure be hard. If only I was truly gentle with them all the time! Some days I am a pretty nasty mama. 🙁 Thank God His grace is bigger than my mistakes, for me and on behalf of my children.

Julie - For me its the hardest part of being a parent, you are not alone.

Daniele Valois - holy heck the fighting eats me alive! When they get along, I ask them to kiss and be lovey, just for me, but it doesn’t work. I never stop asking though!
These photos are some of my favorites! I have been so into taking the feet shots too. The swing shots are great!!!

Sheridan Eketone - So needed this today Meg! So so agree with everything you said. Have been feeling overwhelmed by it all this week, so glad to know I’m not alone! God is good & he has given us such a beautiful family & I WILL enjoy every moment.. good & bad! 🙂 Your blog makes me smile! Dieng for the shop to open! Hope you ship to NZ 🙂 🙂 🙂

Katie Sellers - I have the 3 year old who thinks her mom hung the moon and the baby who is cuddly and lovey…I dread the fighting that I know will come. Tell me about the good part of them growing older so I have something to balance it out against. There is always good with the bad, right?

katherine - No, you aren’t the only one feeling like this.
Geez, I’ve still got a lot of years of parenting ahead of me.
Thanks for going before me, and sharing about it.
It helps.

Holly Cox - My kids fight a lot too…it is exhausting…unbelievable exhausting. Believe in yourself, Meg….and I’ll believe in myself, too!

Maureen - Thoughts to share- My mom and her sister were 4 years apart with a brother in between and one after. All the time that I was growing up, my mom and aunt were best of friends and we lived 3 blocks away from each other’s families. I have 5 brothers and no sisters so I always was so intrigued and envious of their relationship, Once I asked, “Were you and Auntie always best friends?” Her answer, “Good Lord, no! We couldnt’ stand each other all thru high school and college years. We fought like cats and dogs growing up. It wasn’t until we started to both have babies and raise families that we got so close.” My aunt and mom have both been widowed for years and really relied on each other. My aunt died 2 weeks ago at 85 and my mom at 81 says, “So hard to think of the world without my big sissie in it, I miss her so…” Your girls will always have each other plus the brothers…

TonyaElise - There are four kids in my family. Four kids in eight years. Perfect space between each for fighting. And we did. All the time.
But now…my siblings are my best friends. All three of them. And we are experiencing things with each other. Marriage. Babies. First homes.
It is wonderful. I’m so thankful my parents had four. And so glad they endured all the fighting. And so glad they prayed through raising us.
I have the best life because of the family I came from and am a part of. It is all worth it. You are giving your kids a great life.

BELLE PHELPS - about to write this on my own blog, but I will write it here first….
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” (and while typing this, I told Luke to shut up under my breathe…nice…and he heard me…HAHAHA)
ANYWAY……….
keep doing what you do
bake the cookies
talk nicely when you can (it IS hard)
respond out of faith
and PRAY YOUR ASS OFF
they see this
they do
they will imitate it
they will grow up to be beautiful like you
and they cant fight forever…right?? RIGHT? OH PLEASE SAY RIGHT!!!
my kids are fighting as I write this and it is CRACKING ME UP!!!
love you
hope
clarity
strength
courage
I pray it ALL DAY LONG
I will pray it for you too 🙂

tara pollard pakosta - I totally get it.
my girls get along 90% of the time, but that 10% it can be reallY UGLY: i hate you’s, your this, your that, blah blah. sickening when it happens. yup prayer is the ONLY thing that can save your sanity!
how about having them pray for each other? I find that really helps!!!
xoxo
tara

Leanne Mackenzie - Hi Meg,
I have been following for a while, and just had to say, these words could be mine right now.
My eldest son is 8 and I am exhausted by his outbursts and tantrums which are relatively new for him. Not to mention the fighting that goes on between 4 children anyway!
Thank you for this post, it has made me feel less alone in this struggle. I was meant to read this today 🙂
Leanne xo

chasity - we’ve been going through the same thing at our house…
having two girls that are two years apart.
i think that the hormones are already playing a part for girls at 7 and 9!!
and while fighting may be the “norm”…it is not going to be acceptable with me.
i have read MANY books…most of them not so helpful. but the latest book i read had some really great information and advice.
it was called ‘keep the siblings. lose the rivalry’
i had a very good bible study/heart to heart talk with my girls and we made some new family guidelines.
they still have their moments but things have definitely improved over the past couple of weeks.
watching them get along….laughing…playing…reading together.
that is my greatest and happiest moments as a mom.
you should check out the book from the library.
very insightful.
have a great family night together!
chasity

Canada Gal - Good timing for this post. I just had a big talk last night with a good girlfriend of mine regarding this issue. “Birdie Blue”‘s comment is completely spot-on. That’s the way I started out with my kids (strict, good boundaries) and somewhere along the way in the last couple of years I strayed and it shows. They sass me, and treat eachother poorly on a more regular basis. Not good. Today I was back on the strict ‘take no crap disrespect’ from 4.5YO and almost 3YO (both girls) and already things are way better. Doesn’t mean I don’t love them, they just need to know that mama (and dad) are boss and we’re just trying to help them learn to be the best people they can be, well that and respectable citizens, which sometimes I think has gotten lost in today’s society.
Anyway, love your blog Meg.

Lisa Currie-Gurney - THOSE UNPLANNED, JUST POUR OUT OF YA POSTS… ALWAYS THE BEST! SO GOOD WHEN WE ALL FEEL NORMAL.
THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR HEART MEG.
HUGS FROM MINE

Raylene - I don’t know why siblings fight…most do and I did with my brother. I still regret it. The last time I remember fighting with him was when my mom say us both down and said “we all live together for such a short period of time..can’t we all just get along?” It made me cry. And not fight with my brother anymore.
I’m sure my mom had to have the same feelings you do. Hang in there!

Trish - fighting is the pits… it really does deplete me and makes me on edge. today was rough.

sue - My eldest boy is 31 now and I can tell you that time flies.It won’t last forever and when its gone you long for it back. Chin Up. !!!

Dianne - whoa…God must have known that I needed to hear that someone else was having this issue today too! I’ve been thinking that all I’ve been doing today is yelling at my kids who are yelling and fighting at each other the whole time. EXHAUSTING. I think that prayers are all that we can do…pray for them to get through this time…and prayers for our own knowledge of how to best deal with these situations. Hang in there…I’m trying to, too 😉

Rebecca - The fighting can be awful, can’t it? Now that I am a momma myself, I think back to the torture my brothers and I (mostly my brothers, lol) put my parents through. It helps me to remember this on the tough days: childhood prepares for adulthood. All this fighting; with you, with each other, with their friends, is teaching them to be adults. If all they knew was how to be peaceful, how would they ever learn to fight fair? Disagreements are sometimes unavoidable, and I take a little heart in knowing that if they develop their disagreement skills now, they will have better marriages, roomate situations, etc. AND, they will be better able to guide their own kids through the minefield of childhood. You’re doing a great job and setting a brilliant example, so hang in there!

Valerie @ Chateau A La Mode - Uh, hello, you and your family are called, “Normal”. It would be really weird if you all got along all of the time…now that’s a problem. Thank goodness we have prayer on our side.

Vicki - I think in our experience of parenthood there are phases. When they were infants it was sleepless nights, then there was potty training, then comes the independence phase where their job is to push you, the limits, their family, all while in their safety zone where they know no matter how naughty or terrible they are they will still be loved. The beauty of it is that it won’t last forever. But just try telling that to a new, first time mom of an infant. Those words don’t matter when you are in the trenches. I think just like when we were new moms we need to be surrounded by other moms in the same phase of parenthood who can commiserate with us and we can try on ideas and tips that have helped ease the pain of a particular phase. I have to apologize to my kids all the time. For losing it, not using my nice words, getting upset. I don’t want them to grow up and become mothers and think, “how did she do it, she just always had it together and was calm.” I want them to grow up and know that as a HUMAN you will fail. And when you do you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and say your sorry. I love that tomorrow morning will come, I will pray the same prayer, and little by little my God is going to help me get where he wants me to be.

Amy - Meg…you’ve already gotten 63 comments….I’m sure they are FULL of ‘you’re normal’ and ‘you’re AWESOME’….which is totally true!
I deal with it daily….I struggle with it and wonder….is it just me?
PARENTHOOD….NO ONE told me it was only to get harder as they get older….it does!
Keep smiling and keep posting the real you…
Meg Duerksen….people like you! (A little SNL parody for you!)

Short, Sweet Season - My little sister is 13 months younger than me. We fought and fought as little girls. I even bit the feet off her Barbies once!! Horrible, I know. We became best friends after college and are so close and encouraging with one another now. These girls make me think so much of us. They will be close one day. The fighting will stop! 🙂

Tanya @ Life in 3D - You’re singin’ my song Meg.
How can it be that I just thought of you (really randomly) this morning and thought…is she just happy all the time…does she just take everything in stride??
I too have been taken off-guard by this side of parenting. My kids are 2 and 4 and they squabble a lot. They also seem to whine a lot.
I have also wondered…where on Earth am I going to get the strength to deal with this or change this or whatever you’re supposed to do with “this”. I’m not a natural at tuning it out or staying emotionally uninvolved. It wares on me, there are days when it defeats me.
Yes prayer! Prayer is not the least we can do in any given situation…it is the MOST we can do.
Chin up…Spring is on the way:)

Tina I - Oh, you must have been in my car w/ my 5 kids today, or outside, or in the bathroom, or anywhere more than 1 of them are at any given time. If you figure out how to make the fighting stop, will you please let me know? I continually pray for peace. Not for the world, but for our CRAZY household. Good luck.

Beth - Normal? Yes. Still frustrating? YES! Oh my, you spoke straight to my heart! The fighting, the non-stop-make-me-yell kind of fighting makes me crazy sometimes. I fail so much, too, but am trying. Prayer. you said it, right now, it’s a mommy’s only hope.
🙂
Beth

Jenny Joy - I have no wisdom. But, I do have understanding. I could have written your post word for word. And all I know is that I’m so exhausted by it all. I just want some peace. And one day, I might very well have it. But, for now, with four loud, chaotic kids hanging around, all the peace I can seem to find is in the bottom of a coffee cup, or behind the lens of a camera, or in mindlessly kneading bread until my wrists hurt. So, I’m going to grab hold of that peace. Refuse to let it go. At least it’s something.

birdie blue - mine argue occasionally, but don’t really fight. i have four girls…14, 12, 10 and 3.
maybe, it’s because i don’t allow them to speak disrespectfully to me, or to each other (they’re working on that part). i think kids really like firm boundaries, the clearer you can draw the line between what’s acceptable, and what isn’t, the better.
i’m strict, and you have to get up and follow-through on everything. by that i mean, if you say ‘don’t do something’ and they ‘do it’, you better have a logical consequence to implement. i cannot stand when children ‘talk back’ to their parents, i just won’t have it. never have, never will. not easy, but totally do-able. it’s all about respect really. speaking respectfully to them, and expecting respectful talk in return.

Christa - Meg,
I feel like you looked in my windows and wrote this post, right down to being surprised by it. I don’t remember fighting this much with my siblings growing up.
We are on a two week break from school right now which makes it all a little nutty here. Good thing the sun is shining.
It feels as if it doesn’t matter how hard I try…(sigh)

Jen Brandt - It’s therapeutic. You needed it. We need it. We’ve all been there or are there. My 3 and 6 year old daughters do it too. It is very trying. We’ll make it. Prayers.

Meg Carter - No worries Meg. My sister and I did the same thing yelled, slammed doors, threw things at each other. One incident of me pouring ice water all over her. Now we are the best of friends and laugh at all of that. It will pass (unfortunately it is not for a while) Hang in there.

Lari - I know exactly what you mean. My boys fight (what seems like) all the time lately. Especially #2 and #3. It wears on me. I hate it because when they get along it’s so great, they have so much fun together. I don’t have an answer, but you are not alone in feeling this way. I think it’s just part of being siblings. Sigh…would be nice if there was a quick fix!

Janelle - Yes. I was just mentioning to my husband the other night…remember when the kids were an infant, 2, 4, and 6? (They are now 4, 6, 8, 10). Everything seems SO much easier back then…but back then it didn’t! Remember bottles, naps, cuddling, having them glued to Little Einsteins. Much, much easier the younger they are. This morning my boys (the 10 and 8 year olds) got into a toothpaste fight. Toothpaste everywhere…it’s like they grow older and grow harder!

Jenni - I’m sitting here bawling because I just sent my four year old to her room – again – for the nasty attitude. It kills me. I take it personally, too. I just don’t get how someone who has never known anything bad, who has been raised in a home filled with all the non-harming, careful language, calm voices, can have developed such a mean streak. I fear that it will never end and ohmygosh she’s only four! I can’t even imagine what she’ll be like in ten years.

Jennifer Rizzo - Meg, My girls beat the living snot out of each other. I keep asking my husband- are we sure we didn’t have boys. And the mean things that come out of their mouths…. this is all in first and second grade!!!! I feel you pain…..

Julianne Brimner - Oh thanks for sharing…I can so identify with this…my sister and I were 10 months apart and I remember us fighting and bringing my mom to tears…but now we love each other immensely. I had two boys three years apart and they fought, still fight at times (getting better though). I have talked to friends who have kids close together, all boys, all girls, etc., etc. and the fighting always seems to be there. So we pray and cry some and pray some more….I know this too will pass but I agree it is one of the surprising parts of parenting. Go get a good sonic drink or cup of joe and breathe deeply.

Valerie Page - You are not alone. I have days like that. In our house, we just started this new thing that they have to say 3 positives about their day at dinner and have to give a compliment about each other at bed time. It’s cute. They scream a compliment to each other from their bedrooms right before they fall asleep. Leila (my 9 year old) screamed out to her 12 year old sister, taylor last night….I loved the way you did your hair today.
and of course my 12 year old struggles at times with kind things to say to her “annoying little sister”. But she screamed back….I liked your dress that you wore to your award assembly at school today.
This helps at bed time so there are no arguments. Have to admit it’s working and I go to bed less stressed. It’s good for my 2 year old, Ivy to see them compliment each other too:)

Tracy Fisher - Thank you for talking about siblings “fighting”. I can’t stand it either. Mine decide to wait until I am working at 10pm (shouldn’t they be asleep)… or in the car (in 3rd row where I can’t reach them)… or in front of the grandparents (that’s the worst!… because it makes me feel doubly the worst mom ever). Anyway, thanks for being real. And don’t you just love it when they get along and are loving on each other. Reminder to take lots of photos.
Tracy Fisher

RebeccaH - fighting is a fact of life for us as well – mostly it is between my daughter and myself, and since she is only five, i’m thinking i have really got to get some answers to this or it will be a long 13 years ahead of us. like you i try. like you i fail. i find that i am 100% better prepaired to address and navigate the tough times when my focus is on God. i find that if I can shift her focus to what is good and what is right then she is much more easily defused. this is part of life. part of shaping and molding and teaching. yes, it is a fact for most of us. no, we do not have to resign to it as a permanent fixture. hang in there. i will be praying for you and your family, as i’m sure you are also praying. thanks for sharing yourself so honestly. you are an amazing woman of God and an inspiration to many.

Kattastik.wordpress.com - The Family Virtues Guide from this project :http://www.virtuesproject.com/homepage.html are VERY helpful with teaching one’s children (and one’s self)to live with less fighting and more good.

Ana M - I feel your words like as they are mine…
So hard to parenting, so exhausting…
Tired and weary…
But somehow, someway we mothers, do stand up again and move forward, don’t we?
And, thinking of that, you still have the strength to go outside and take pictures of some good and rare moments of your girls…
I admire you…
Love,

Brook - I could have written this myself!! Our house has been filled with fighting lately. Our kids used to get along so well and all the sudden the oldest ones seem to hate each other. It just hurts my heart. I had 6 siblings and boy did we argue about EVERYTHING! When my kids fight I want to call my mother and apologize for the arguing I did! I love all my siblings now and we get along so well so I have hope for the future! Thanks for this post it made me feel better!

Kim - I have three girls, ages 5, 8, and 10. I can totally relate.

Flower Patch Farmgirl - I feel ya.
I am actually counting the number of times today that Ruby spontaneously bursts into tears. Just for fun. Just as a diversion to the INCESSANT crying. It’s usually because Calvin sat in the brown chair or beat her to the front door or something equally earth-shattering.
Also, I have a cuddly-ish baby(ish) who wears diapers and slams things, throws things, hits things, screams things. ALL. Day. LONG.
Wanna babysit???

Abby B - When my sisters and I were this age we fought like cats and dogs too, but now they are hands down two of my best friends. Your kids will grow out of this and end up realizing that sisters are fantastic, it just takes time to grow up and realize it I suppose.

Kim - Love your honesty Meg. Your pictures really capture the amazing bond of sisters.
The pic of annie jumping on the trampoline in her ruby reds is to die for. Everything about that shows joy!
You are doing a great job. I am not a mom, but I can tell from what you wrote that it is a challenge now – but I’m certain you will reap the fruit in the years to come.

kathleen - oh me, this is me, every word, every feeling. We have six, and when I pictured our big family (before we had them), the fighting never entered into my mind. I never knew how down it would make me, how much it would try me to the very core some days, and how much sin would flow from me as a mother. I am always wondering what I have done wrong? I am so thankful that I had no idea! I love em’ so much, but man, the hardest job ever. And the part you wrote about missing those baby years, I have thought that so much over the past year. My oldest is 12, so I am just now realizing how everyone is getting older and bigger and I feel older. I have longed so many times to be able to go back and start over, pregnancies and all, to be a young mother again. I miss it. I do have my sweet fella’ still only 18 months, but wow he’s growing faster than any of the others. We’re pretty sure he’s the last little one, and oh that makes me sad. And it’s good to see them grow, and SO GOOD when they are kind to each other. And even better when they say sorry for their wrongs against each other and really mean it.
Well anyway, this post really struck home and I had to finally comment on your dear blog. I love it and thank you for always sharing so faithfully the good and the bad…it’s a comfort and an encouragement to me! Take care girl!!

Courtney Walsh - I have been thinking this same thing lately, wondering if there’s a reason, something I’m doing, that causes them to not be nice, or to be selfish. I think maybe they just haven’t quite learned to ask for what they want and to express their feelings…and my tendency is to get so frustrated by that. I really struggle with it. The fighting makes me nuts!
I’ve also got three strong personalities meshing with my own…and I’m trying to build future leaders. Good lord, it’s a lot of pressure. But I agree with you. It’s normal. We fought when we were kids too. Being able to send them outside is a god-send!!!
Love Annie’s red shoes, btw! 🙂

karen - Oh you said it best.
“no matter how well i speak….
no matter how well i care for them….
no matter how many cookies i make….
it doesn’t make them nice.”
my 3 1/2 year old is just starting to slam the doors! and my 9 month old is still unaware of it all.
I feel like i am doing something wrong.

Wendy - I have 3 girls …. and when they fight – I make them hug & tell the other “I love you”! Doesn’t work all the time – but sometimes it’s just corny enough to make them giggle cause they soooo don’t want to do it!

Amy - Oh, preach it, sister. My oldest 2 (both boys) are 6 & 4. And their fighting has resulted in many a gray hair for this Momma. (I refuse to accept it as genetics. I also plan on using it -much like my pregnancy stretch marks – to hold over their heads when they’re about 16-52. Hopefully that works. *wink*) This winter, my most dreaded season, has been brutal for us. The problem w/ their fighting is there is very often no right or wrong person. No clear line in the sand. No winner. Makes it hard to settle matters. I need to be on my knees more…praying for me to demonstrate self-control & patience. I fail so often. I don’t want to be *that* mother… Sigh. Yes, Lord, bring on the warm weather!! This granola girl needs the outdoors!! 😉

Andrea - So glad to hear that I am not the only one who has had fighting kids lately (not that I am glad yours are, but you know – the kinship of it all). The past two nights they have gone out in the backyard and played NICELY together! I felt like if I heard one more of them say something mean or take something or hit someone or… I was going to explode on them. Then I hear God say “Take deep breaths Andrea and walk away til you calm down.” Now, when the kids hear me taking deep breaths, they say “Uh oh Momma is taking deep breaths!”

nancy - i hear ya. i think all mothers do. you’ve survived it with one older girl, you will with these 2 as well.
my girls fought every.single.day. until this year. now they’re inseparable. best friends by choice. sisters by chance. i don’t know what will happen come august when the oldest moves off to college. i’m sure there will be tears. it makes me a happy mama to know that my girls like and love each other. hang in there.