whatever

Cassandra - I just came back to read this post a second time. Thank you for this post, my oldest is 6 so I have a ways to go with this parenting gig I appreciate truth from those “ahead” of me. And thank goodness for God’s grace in it all!!

Laura - SO. VERY. TRUE.

Thank you, Meg for putting into words what us older moms know to be truth. May younger moms use your words to benefit their families.

Laura - Such truth! My kids are 12-25 and I tell people all the time I thought it was suppose to get easier! It’s so much harder than I thought it would be. Their problems are so REAL and BIG! Parenting big kids isn’t for wimps, that’s for sure. Thankful every day for God’s grace and peace. Keep soldiering on 🙂

Bekkah - Hi Meg :]

I have been following your blog for a few years now, and it’s so crazy to see how old your children are now!! Especially Annie because she was so little when I first started reading, and she always reminded me a little of myself. 😛

Thanks for sharing this! I am particularly sitting with this line: “i still believe in consequences but quite often the natural consequences are enough…”

because that’s what God has been showing me about his heart towards me. Bless.

Have a good weekend!! xo

Iris Brown - This is powerful & heart wrenching. I recognize myself in the shameful before & after. This post highlights that we are in a position to make changes so we are not reacting when we only have fumes (which is often) & to make provisions by complete dependence on Jesus.

I made these harsh & unfair judgments on my mother raising 3 girls by herself in even more dire circumstances. Only when I started raising my own kids I realize I need to cut her some slack and now towards myself.

OMG this was so good & so helpful so powerful! (Sigh) I need to chew on this for a while.

Carrie - Oh goodness this is appropriate for me. My oldest is 9 and we have entered an unusual phase. My sweet and happy little girl is a moody and often disrespectful little girl. Not to anyone outside of our family but nevertheless it has left me floundering. We have talked to her gently and my husband tends to react before thinking but I finally had it tonight. I told her that I knew that she was going through a lot and that she might not always be in the best mood but that being disrespectful was stopping today or there will have to be consequences. I told her that instead of snapping at me, using unkind words, or rolling her eyes that she needed to let me knew she was not in a good mood or that she was having a rough time. I tell her a lot that we are both learning this tween stage together and we need to figure it out. I have not lost my cool but I actually think that might happen soon and it might be a wake up call to her. But currently my 6 year old is a breeze!

Lori Tacchino - I love this so much, Meg! Thank you so much for being real and honest.

Annie - This is so good. I’m struggling with yelling and resentment, quickly followed by guilt and despair. I needed this today. Thank you for sharing.

Andrea - AMEN!
My oldest, who just turned 22, was home after graduating college in December – but just before she moved 2200 miles away to be on her own. She saw me dealing with our youngest and said “where was that Mom when I was little?” It made me cry later (I didn’t want to cry in front of her and make her feel guilty) because she’s right. The yeller, the mom who is tired and frustrated would yell and ground and threaten and use guilt, and that mom isn’t here any more. I think the hardest thing about her moving away from home to be her own person was letting her go, and for me knowing the wrong or right, her childhood is her past now. I wish I knew then what I know now, like you said. Adult kids are awesome and cool and so much fun, and the worries are there but different, so I’m not done being her mom, but I do have a different kind of importance now. God’s got us, Meg.
Great post!

Lisa - I remember the moment I realized my 5, where little people.
It changed me. After I quit crying.
Remember no one is perfect, no one is the mother that they really want to be, we’re too human. And how would kids even survive life, if they have that perfect upbringing?
I don’t know you, but I know you are a good mom.
When you’re having doubts,,, go to walmart, look around, observe. Or watch the news.
We’ve experienced, that about the time our girls have left the nest, they get feisty and critical of their parents. The mature ones have said, hey, you did what you knew to do,nobody’s perfect.
The less mature ones, well, they’re still feisty. Their choice.
Don’t get discouraged.
The lord, he knows our hearts. He understands.

Elisa - From what you shared, I think you’ll like these two things:
book: Seven Desires of Every Heart
Instagram, blog, etc: Danny Silk – loving your kids on purpose https://instagram.com/p/BO9zyigDjXT/

LIsa - Oh Meg –
I just clicked over to your blog today on a break at work and
I think you wrote this JUST for me!
I also need to remind myself that my kids are not robots of me.
and they have their own free will (double gasp!).
It WAS so easy when they were little and we could plan their days!
We have really great kids , but the ups and downs and change of plans each day/hour can be exhausting. I feel like numerous texts come in each day about new plans with friends or projects due, etc…..
Today our second daughter turns 13! So fitting to be reminded of great ideas for raising great kids!
Thank you, Lisa

Sally Carne - GREAT article. I also have recently switched to the “let’s sit down and try to understand the choice made” instead of punishments for my teens and step children (we are a blended family with 6 kids, all tweens or teens). I finally figured out that in the end I will feel better about trying to parent out of love than expectations, but getting here was rough, just as you explained above! I have been one of your original followers of your blog, and I have loved every entry over the years – I found you while searching for the rainbow cake oh so many years ago. Thank you, I enjoy your experiences!

Kristin S - Meg, I just shared this on my Facebook wall. That’s a lot of guts since I don’t even have kids! BUT so many friends have teens and I just couldn’t not share. It’s the same people I screenshotted (when did that become a verb?) your podcast with Kendra last summer and sent it to them. Friends who need hope. I love your perspective from experience and love and Jesus.

Thank you for sharing!

Christin - These words spoke right to my heart. Thank you

Kim B - Well said! Thanks for sharing!

Amy - Yep. I am right where you are. I have 7 children 21,19,17,15,13,10 and 8. It’s a roller coaster I never expected. In a lot of ways it’s harder parenting with more sleep. The things you worry about seem more serious. Instead of worrying if they should eat chicken nuggets I am worried they will drive carefully. I am a worrier by nature and so teenage years are especially hard for me. And wow I am amazed how times have changed. I am the old fashioned mom that still gives her teenagers curfews, don’t allow them to spend the night with the opposite sex, and gives the consequences for messing up grades or attitudes. But I am learning to let them have control and show them trust in situations that make me uncomfortable too. That has been hard. I think like you said it’s a control thing. But giving them rules and trust is turning out to be a great balance. I am working on not flipping my lid in situations. Being graceful is so much better but more important than that is admitting my mistakes and apologizing. I think that has helped our relations with our teens to show them we are trying to figure this out with them and we get things wrong too. We aren’t the dictators and demand respect. We have to show them respect just like what we want from them. Thanks for writing this post!

Whitney - I love this. Thank you! I hope you never give up blogging completely.😊

Ann - Best post ever. As a mom of littles I take all the wisdom of more experienced moms that I can get. Thank you!!

LindaP - Love this. Plain and simply love it. Having 2 teen boys right now is the hardest and greatest thing ever and you captured it all. We don’t do ourselves any favors by pretending it’s all good all the time. The day in and day out can be tough but the overall is the best!

Kristen - It looks to me like they love having you as their mom, as much as you love being their mom. Thank you for the way that you share your family, and God’s role in it. You inspire me to be a real-er mom to my 4 kiddos, and I’m grateful for you!

Kimberly - Your blog is my favorite!! I love all of it– and I especially love these parenting blogs because I have 3 little ones 5 and under. It’s nice to hear from someone further down the parenting road than me. Someone besides my mom– who’s is wonderful, but, you know– it’s good to hear from a neutral party. Thanks for sharing this!

Amy - All that you wrote are my thoughts exactly! I struggle with wishing I could go back to when they were little and parent differently. I struggle with trying not to be to demanding of them and knowing that they have to learn from natural consequences and that I cannot control or fix everything they do. I miss when they were little but this age is so awesome too. Parenting is HARD!

Jennifer - Really great post. Thanks for sharing and thanks for being honest. Wonderful words of wisdom and insight. I’m fast approaching the teenage years and this helps with perspective. You’re doing great! Can’t wait to see you next month!

Brady W. - Aaaaaannnnd….cue the knife to my heart. Your (should I say God’s??) timing couldn’t have been better with this post. I just had a yelling match with my 5 year old son last night that resulted in both of us in tears (pathetic, I know–who fights with a 5 year old?!?). As I was yelling at him, I was arguing in my head about whether or not that was the best way to handle it. “But if I don’t yell, he doesn’t listen or do what I say. I’ve explained it nicely 15 times!” “If I just stop yelling and hug him, will this fight be over?” “But if I hug him, is he going to understand that what he did is wrong?” It was a CONSTANT back and forth and I realized last night more than ever that all I did was frustrate myself and my son and make the devil dance with joy that he was winning. It’s SO hard to know the “right” way to parent. The sad part is it takes making so many mistakes to figure out what works the best–thank God for His grace and that my kids are so forgiving! I’ll be praying for you (and myself-ha!) to have wisdom and grace and forgiveness. Mommin’ ain’t easy! Hang in there!

Patty - Amen to that lady! My kids are 23 and 27. It is so cool to see them be the awesome, successful adults they are and enjoy them as such, but you still parent/give advice which they take into account and act on/don’t act on… When my daughter was in middle school I’d send her and her friends off with a “Make good choices girls!” (think Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday) It started as a joke, but when moments were right I’d follow up with a deeper conversation. “Life is made up of choices. We make them sometimes good, sometimes bad. Learn from your choices. I hope you make more good choices than bad. Most importantly, I just don’t want any bad choices to affect you, or someone else for the rest of your/their lives.”

Andrea - Thank you, thank you, thank you! I arrived home last night from a weekend away with several older christian moms and grandmothers but somehow felt more overwhelmed and discouraged than ever because I don’t have it all together like they do. Your honesty was the best encouragement ever!!!!!! The timing of your post was amazing and so God speaking through you!!! Sharing your heart has helped me more than ever! I am so glad you shared!!!

Gevay - I love this. This is a good word. It’s humble and honest and raw. Thanks for sharing your heart and your wisdom to those of us on the cusp of this.

se7en - Isn’t this post the truth!!! Love it… Parenting littles is exhausting in a completely different way than parenting teens, which is definitely not for sissies!!! I had this idea that they would grow up and sleep and become more and more capable and sleep(!)… and then kind of slide out of home… its nothing like that. Their needs are bigger and can’t always be fixed with a sleep… they do sleep, but not before two in the morning and if you want to stay close with them… then that’s when they chat!!! It is a giant rollercoaster of the best of times and the most trying times, all in a state of fatigue!!! Is it worth it? You had better believe it, they may not be the people I expected them to be, but I really like them, just as they are!!! Of course I am their mother so I love them completely… but I really like them. I want to hang out with them and spend evening playing games and catching up with them… the ultimate achievement is to get through all this growing up, for all of us and out the other side and still be liking each other totally!!!