whatever

warning:  very long post

VERY.

————————————————————————————————————————————–
four years ago i traveled to west africa with my friend Pam and a group from her church.
my heart was forever changed.
africa has been on my mind pretty much every single day after that… not kidding.

Pam then moved her entire family there shortly after my that trip.
we would text & email quite often but there is something about coming alongside someone & seeing it with your own eyes.
i think it’s safe to say that living in africa seems to be…. difficult?
i say that from as an american where we basically have everything we need to live very comfortably every single day.  obviously not everyone… but probably everyone reading this.
we have water… food… beds… clothing… medication… vehicle… roof…. etc.

it’s a big deal to move to west africa.
i mean… a really big deal.
and once you get there… everything is a challenge.
a wonderful, crazy, upside down, beautiful, wild challenge.
i wanted my friend to know that i fully supported her, loved her and her family and most importantly that she was not forgotten or alone.  because when you move your whole family to a place really far away that is pretty scary to a lot of people…. i think lonely could be a good word to describe some of the days.

this summer i heard a sermon from a guest speaker at my church talking about friendship and what kind of friends we need and what kind we need to be.
and that was it.
i couldn’t not go any longer.
i started packing and doing all the paperwork and vaccinations that are required.
less that a month after that sermon…. i went my son’s basketball game on a saturday morning, had brunch with craig & my kids and got on a flight.
24+ hours later i was in Liberia greeted by this scene in the airport parking lot.  🙂
i thought my heart my burst.

i got to see where she lived!
i got to eat african food!
i got to walk on the beach of the ocean!

and i got to hold a baby about 18- 20 hours a day.
sometimes two at a time!
it was the best… totally dreamy for me in every way.

we went through a market and my friend introduced me to her favorite women there.
aren’t they all so beautiful?!

here is a video of my car window for 2 minutes.
it’s crazy how many people there are!
this is in Red Light in Liberia.


i cuddled and talked with these two boys all week… sekou & theo.
theo played a video of annie holding a kitten that was meowing REALLY loudly for 58 seconds over and over.
he thought annie was so funny!

 

on my flight from NYC to Liberia i met a friend of pam’s that was coming to liberia to check on her foster homes.
christina started an organization called His Safe Haven in Liberia.
they provide foster homes & care for special needs children, most of whom have been abandoned.
i really enjoyed getting to travel with her (because she helped me make it through the airport in liberia!) and to meet the kids in the homes!

several extra hands are always around to help the foster moms out.
and this guy in the green had a smile that could melt anyone’s heart.

these dudes were just waiting on their dads to be done talking to us.


His Safe Haven still has several children that need sponsorship.
on the day we left liberia two more children just showed up.
one of them was literally a crying baby left on a doorstep.
and christina finds homes for them.
we can help her with that!
we can sponsor these kids that show up in the night fighting to survive!
i know we can.
click over to her blog and find out how to sponsor in the sidebar.
She is a passionate woman who saw a need and did something about it… that is worth supporting.
these kids are worth it!

this is christina with her program coordinators & house mother.
i learned a lot by watching her work.
she inspired me.
and wow does she love those kids!  🙂

while  we were out we pulled over to purchase something and sat outside this Photo Copy Shop and we noticed the sign on the wall that says “Ebola is Dead – Bitter Cola is the Cure”
my friends got out of the car and went to talk with them about the truths of Ebola.
1. there is no cure for Ebola
2. it is not dead
3. you are misinforming people

i don’t know what it is like NOW in november in Liberia but in July there were a large majority of people that did not believe Ebola was real.  I can understand their thinking a little – anyone that gets sick with something that seems like bad malaria, goes into the hospital with all these white doctors in haz mat suits and almost everyone that goes in… dies.  after awhile it would feel like a conspiracy to me too.  There was a lot of confusion by the local community about how you get Ebola, what to do and who gets it.  But the reality is that it IS REAL, there is no cure, it’s HIGLY CONTAGIOUS and this was just the beginning of the epidemic in july.

they asked for this group photo.
🙂
i was thrilled to honor that request.
the little guy in the front in the snowman pants was terrified of pam… but not me.  Ha ha ha
she said “WHAT? how is he not crying for you?”
i think it was the big camera in front of my face.  He’s too intrigued to cry.


This is Princess and Prince.
they told me they are twins.
i took their photo and he came running over to see it and then said “BEAUTIFUL!!” in a loud voice.
he laughed really hard…. i think he’d heard or seen americans do that because he really cracked himself up.
we visited friends of Pam’s for an afternoon.
i was surrounded with children because of the camera and iPhone.

this man was talking to me but i was having a very hard time understanding him.
so he wrote his name in the dirt for me.
and that worked!  i will always remember that name!
the one in the middle.
i just…. i have not been able to get those eyes out of my mind.
i was drawn to him.  i think because of jammie shirt at first – my girls had snowman jammies like that once.
and then those eyes!

  
Pam’s friends wanted to show her a photo.
Someone brought out the photo album and it was quickly obvious that this is a special event.
all the kids were dying to see the album!
look all those braids…. so much beauty.

that was the only smile i saw from him.  i am so glad to have seen it!

while the grown ups talked… we took selfies.   
during one of our stops a Pastor friend of Pam’s told her about a baby that needed help.
she was two weeks old… the mother had died and there was no food.
that was all they needed to hear.
their friend got in the car with us and told them where to go.
it was now night time and totally dark because there are not street lights (or even streets) like we have in the US.

we stop and the pastor says “we are here. there they are”
someone opens my car door.
and this teeny TINY baby is laid on my lap.
in the dark.
in africa.
it was probably the most surreal moment i have ever had.
there was the little light in the top of the car to access her.
she was limp & weak.
she couldn’t even cry anymore.
she had powders on her face and a charm bracelet on to ward off evil spirits.
her name was Peace.

they brought formula & a bottle, showed the grandmother & auntie how to make it, told her how much and stressed it must be every two hours.
Pam said we would come back the next day.
it was amazing.
i think i was completely in shock – trying with everything i had not to cry my eyes out.
feeding a dying baby by the light of a headlight?!
that doesn’t happen in my little kansas life!

we did go back the next day in the daylight to check in again.
they said they had only given her sugar water because the mother had been too sick to nurse.
watching my friends talk to the family first about their grief…. discussing how to care for this baby… teaming together with them….encouraging them to keep going… it was so humbling to watch and listen.
Peace is alive and growing strong today!
That is REAL!
Peace is a important person to Jesus!
my friends are making a difference.
it is inspiring to watch people LIVE OUT their calling….to see them come alive when their passion is being fulfilled!

after a few meals she was looking better already!
     
and this was the Ebola clinic.
my friend Eric had helped move the unit from the hospital to another building that was just for ebola.
the corrugated walls were to isolate and keep only ebola patients in and others out.
this was the drying station  after everything had been decontaminated.
makeshift plywood walls and orange construction fencing is what is keeping Ebola in or out.
it’s crazy.

ebola was scary but until that week – at least to me – it had really been considered an african disease.
(i thought that… not speaking for anyone else)
that changed on saturday of my trip when Dr. Brantly and Nancy Writebol both tested positive for Ebola.
dr. brantly was pam & eric’s neighbor & close friend and both kent & nancy worked on the the same team unit with eric.
this changed everything.
it was traumatic for everyone… up until this point there had only been one survivor in their unit.
those are not the odds you want when contracting with a disease in africa.
my friends were distraught.
i suddenly felt a million miles away from my family.
i was so sad and scared for my friends and for their friends.
that night they learned of more people that were sick and one that had died.
while you learned about Dr. Brantly on the national news… we were crying because dr. braintly was all alone & sick literally right next door.
his family was back in the states waiting for him to come back for a break from all the hard work he’d put in the past 6-9 months.
Ebola was not in that plan.
it was a sad and scary night.

my flight was already scheduled to leave the next day and it was so hard!
i was grateful for the week i had had there.
i was torn.
i was missing my family like crazy but feeling like i was abandoning my friends.

and honestly not sure if i would ever see them again… who knew what ebola would do?

but God is good.
Dr. Brantly & Nancy Writebol both have been healed.
My friends are healthy and safe.
their organization brought them back to the US until they feel it’s sate enough to go back.
and i know that they are very ready and willing to go back.
because I am and i only was there for a week!
Liberia is their home and their friends and their calling.
being here and “safe” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
listening to them share their dreams…. i know that God has so much He wants to do in Liberia.

Ebola is still raging.
there is still such great need in Liberia.
i think i couldn’t write about my trip for so long because i have had such a hard time wrapping my mind around the scope of what Ebola is doing.
the death… the fear… the misunderstanding… the incredible sadness… all the new orphans… the increasing poverty with people not being able to work… schools closed… severe hunger… broken governments…
and the list just goes on.

but i am coming to grips a tiny bit more each day that we don’t always get the answers.
we don’t have to understand the plan.
we don’t have to have things figured out.

(but God… i like knowing the plan!!! and i like having one!!)

not all diseases will have cures.
not all injustices will be righted.
there is not a fix for everything…. until heaven.

so with no answers and no plan…. i just keep praying for the people of liberia.
praying for those who are sick and those caring for the sick.
praying for basic needs like hunger and finances.
praying for more help to be sent.
praying for God to bring the GOOD into this darkness.
leaning in on Him and watching Him answer prayers.

i hope the Lord lets me go back to Liberia.
i hope He continues to grow my love and compassion and fire into something amazing for Him.
i know that He loves every Liberian.
i know that He loves me and You.

and that is where i am with it all.