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10 minutes.

October 31, 2013

God and i were talking this morning and it basically went like this:

ME:
i feel like crap.
i want to sleep for days.
why do i have to be awake?
why do i have to work?
why do i have clean up?
i don’t want to.
why do i have to exercise?
it’s cold. ugh it’s raining! on halloween!
oh this is the worst.
i want to eat cookies. it is so unfair that i can’t eat cookies all day long.

GOD:
how about you work on your bible study lesson. you seem like you are grumpy.

ME:
well of course i am grumpy!
everyone is so lame and hurts my feelings and makes me mad.
and i am tired.
and hormonal.
and there is so much to do because life is full AND it’s halloween!!!!
we never carved the pumpkins that i bought. what a waste of money!
how will i possibly not eat all that candy tonight!???
and i didn’t buy the boots that annie wanted for her costume.
and i have to miss scott’s football game.
and talby needs her headband made.

GOD:
start your lesson.

ME:
i am cold.
i need another cup of coffee.
and a blanket.
and my sweater and slippers.

15 minutes later….

GOD:
why don’t you start on that lesson now?

ME:
oh alright!!!!

and of course it was awesome and perfect and a great attitude adjustor.
then as i finished the questions the light changes in the room & the cloudy gross weather is suddenly BRIGHT!
it got SO shiny and bright where i was sitting and i immediately felt the need to capture it.
that feeling i try not to ignore.
the push to create something… or appreciate something in front of me.
and so often now just try to get a quick capture on my phone camera.
that is lazy! it is easy and helpful but also lazy.
but my phone was on 7% battery this morning (oops i forgot to plug it in last night)
so i got out the big mama camera, threw on talby’s shoes by the door & went out to catch the light.

AMAZING!
i felt great… there is something so rad that happens when i use that creativity inside me!
when i plug into that part of me.
the crappy stuff just falls away.
the feelings, the tiredness, the self pity, the schedule, the stress…
for a few moments it is not there.
and then if it does come back around… it’s more bearable after spending some time creating.
spending time focusing on Jesus helps me to SEE what matters around me.

i came back in the house, 10 minutes and 200 pictures later and sat down in the same spot.
within a minute the clouds came back in and that sun was gone.
dark and cloudy again outside.
what a gift that 10 minutes was to my heart today.
my cloudy gray heart was FULL of that shiny light i had just soaked in.

my problems aren’t fixed but i don’t have to be heavy about it.
i have Jesus.
it’s all good… everything is in His control.
nothing on my complaint list was a surprise to Him.
(even though i really have nothing to complain about… nor should i be complaining in the first place)
He knows all of it.
i just need to put it all before Him and leave it there.
i am confident that He will change my heart. heal my wounds. lift my spirit. guide my thoughts.

“And how bold and free we then become in his presence, freely asking according to his will, sure that he’s listening. And if we’re confident that he’s listening, we know that what we’ve asked for is as good as ours.”
1 John 5:14-15

what are you hearing today?
do you do that with God too… argue and complain to him?
i hope i am not the only one.

and now… time to exercise and make a headband!

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pinning…

October 18, 2013

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this project looks so cheerful yet simple and easy to do.
i need to print some photos!!!
raise your hand if it’s been more than 2 years since the last time you printed photos….

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this is stinkin’ adorable.
i keep looking at it trying to figure out why i love it so much… the glasses? the lowlights in her hair? the freckles?

i think it is that the shirt is just three stripes.

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does this owl project make you want to create?
that is all i can think about when i look at this picture!
i want paper, scissors and glue RIGHT NOW!
i think my kids would like making this.

i pretty much love everything Kal creates.
ALL OF IT.

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funny.

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i bought the new Avett Brothers immediately.
isn’t the “album cover” the best? i love that.
i really like the violin (cello?) in The Clearness is Gone… i greatly dislike the DRAMA part of Vanity… Apart from Me is lovely… and Good to You… and Bring your love…
basically i love the whole darn thing.

we got creative after seeing this watercolor painting on pinterest.

there is something about sitting down and painting… it is so calming.
i always have music on quietly. it is a memory i hope they keep of time we spent together.

as soon as i finish this post i am getting up to make these.
i have a ton of apples that need to get used.

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aren’t these super cute?!

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and then these make me not want to carve any pumpkins at all – we can just paint!

it is going to take a lot of self motivating talking to myself to get pumpkins carved this year.
“it’s not so bad meg. you can do it”
“the kids love it. just do it megan”
“you will be so happy you did it when they are done”
etc.
please tell me i am not the only one who feels this way about pumpkins.

have you heard of Lindsay Letters?
she is super rad.
she donated a canvas to danielle’s adoption fundraiser… i bid and won. 🙂
it was a hard decision to choose which canvas!
in the end i picked Come Thou Fount… but i ALMOST chose Ecclesiastes 9:7-9.
i mean… the C O L O R S part??? it really would be perfect for me…
maybe my next order!
seriously amazing work she does.
ok… gotta make those apple bars.
and cuddle with my kids.
our house is FREEZING so i am happy to let kids warm me up.

did you know it SNOWED here today?!! Craziness.

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memories…

October 16, 2013

craig and i got married on september 3rd and moved to illinois on september 9th.
we were 18 & 20 years old.
babies.
he went to school & played basketball… i worked as a temp at the college before and after lauren was born.
between his classes and my work craig was in charge of tiny baby lauren.
such a sweet memory.
when he finished school and got a job, i started to nanny and took lauren with me.
then i did daycare from home when scott was on the way.
we bought our first home. we fixed it up room by room.
we loved that house. we filled it with love and babies…we had all of our babies while living in illinois.

this summer we did a little tour of the old places we loved.
it had been a long time since going back there (physically and mentally).

our first stop was The Grove… a nature center.
this was a place i came to ALL the time with my daycare kids because it was free!
i was so glad to see it was doing even better than when we lived here.

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huge tank filled with turtles… lauren used to love this!
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it smelled exactly the same in these buildings. 🙂
it felt a little surreal being back there.
scott remembered it a little but the others couldn’t.
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we had never seen this black smith demonstration before.
they watched him work for several minutes making a nail.
just one nail!
it was crazy to think about how they used to have to hand craft every nail they used.
can you imagine?
six
one nail.
five minutes.

then just for something different we went to Abt.
there are NO stores like this in kansas.
we killed an hour here easily between me looking through the dream kitchens, the boys in the massage chairs, the free hot out of the oven cookies and this magician.
my kids were totally into the magic.
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we stopped in to see our neighbors from our old neighborhood.
one friend was at work so we peeked in at her job to say hi.
marybeth was so special to me.
she helped me so much with my little ones way back when.
she watched them sometimes, she encouraged me as a young mother and she loved my kids.
we loved being neighbors with her family.

THIS is where i wanted to go more than anywhere on our vacation.
the choo choo.

this tiny little diner was my FAVORITE when we lived in Des Plaines.
and it’s funny because back then… we hardly went there.
at the time it was a lot of money for us to spend on a toddler’s meal or with several kids.
so it was more of a special place when we had just one kid with us.
or we would go just for a milkshake but no meal.

it is very small and it is almost always full with people waiting for a seat.
they serve hamburgers & fries. they make big yummy milkshakes. (Oreo is the best)
we sat at the bar because there were too many of us for a booth.
this is a shot of the whole place.
there are three booths in front of the camera that you can’t see but otherwise… that is it.

what makes this place so fun?
your meal comes out on the train!
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i was loving all the memories from this place so much and then they played the happy birthday song for a little boy in the diner.
and oh man… it was very hard to not cry.
immediately i remembered the last time i had been at the choo choo was for lauren’s 9th birthday.
i think it was just the two of us?
and i got her the birthday cupcake.
they play the birthday song really loud and the train brings out a cupcake.
i missed her very much in that moment.
i wished she had been there with us to see if she remembered it too.
this meal made my whole trip.
and i didn’t even eat anything! ha ha ha
i was just so happy to be there.
i was beaming from the inside out.
so many memories for me of being a mama to those little ones.
and how it feels so different now… it was so good to go back.

and then if i wasn’t feeling emotional enough already…

we went to see our old house!
this was our first home.
we moved here in 1998… scott was a few months old.

we painted it all white… we put in that “garden”… craig built me an arbor for mother’s day that i LOVED… we built the fence and the deck… finished the basement… gutted the bathrooms and the kitchens and made them shiny and new… the four windows on the second story were our bedroom.
i remember taking naps on sunday and laying in bed listening to craig playing with the kids in the front yard.
i spent so many MANY hours on those porch steps watching my littles ride their bikes up and down the street.
i rocked my babies on the porch swing.
it was a great place.
1345 Henry street treated us well.

ahhh… i am feeling a little weepy now thinking back to those days.
life keeps going.
kids grow up.
i am so grateful for that home.
and that guy who i shared it with… he’s pretty rad.

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life is good… don’t ya think?

September 9, 2013

somedays i just feel so full of joy in the everyday little things of life.
i am super busy… you are super busy.
but looking around at the everyday stuff is when the busy-ness falls away and you can SEE the goodness.
the stuff that brings a peaceful and content heart.

some pictures from this last week…. starting with scott’s first high school football game.
he didn’t play last year. i am SO happy he is playing this year.
he is #6 on the sidelines.

this view… it doesn’t get much better on a friday night at 10:30.

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getting up early to run on the weekend has made for great weekend DAYS for me.
i am not as tired as before… i spend my morning waking up with God and this beauty all around me
instead of people talking to me right away and hearing sponge bob in the background… and cranky kids.

i dare you to try it.
it took me 37 years to figure it out…. but i am loving it.

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as soon as i took that corn picture… it started to rain.
what can you do when you are out for a run at 7 AM on a sunday in the rain?
finish.
in the rain.

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annie made chocolate chip cookies on her own. 🙂
my friend and i ran a different route last week and i really loved it… i think i loved the shade!

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we tried to see if cows like watermelon. they are so skittish that they took off running… big dorks.
this is one of my most favorite snacks: greek non-fat vanilla yogurt (high protein & no fat), blueberries and just a little bit of low fat granola

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these are two very spoiled kitties.
if chickens would poop about 1/3 of the amount that they do… they would even more awesome.
on IG i asked what song she might be singing in that picture on the right. SO MANY funny responses! i loved it.

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“you wouldn’t believe what i heard Libby say about Oreo just now….”
“Oh no she didn’t”
it appears that our chicks are quite the gossipers.
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best mornings.

this is so worth getting out of bed for!

oh kansas…. you don’t know how much i love you.

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are you singing now?

i have been belting it out all morning alone in my house.

i continued on in the series of sermons i listened to last week.
i am going to check into the pastors you shared with me.
i have already downloaded several!

how was your weekend?

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cravings.

August 29, 2013

i want to eat these cookies from iheartnaptime.com

this pumpkin dream cake looks TO. DIE. FOR. from thenovicechefblog.com

i know for a fact that i would love this Puppy Chow with Snickers from thirtyhandmadedays.com

and seriously…. coconut AND dark chocolate… frozen? come to mama.
these are called Coconut Klondike Bites from paleomg.com

if i could sit out on my patio on a saturday morning with a cup of coffee
and these blueberry lemon sweet rolls… my life might be complete.
these are from abeautifulbite.com.

can you tell that i am hungry?

and that i haven’t been eating any foods like this for quite awhile?!

i love sweets.
but my waistline disagrees.
so for now… i will have a salad and dream about enjoying these treats (just a taste) in a few months.

first i need to stop drooling though….

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this summer.

July 9, 2013

dudes….this summer is crazy.

i don't know what i did other years?

how did we do craft thursday?

how did i get anything done?

who is this person i have become????

that is how i am feeling everyday. it's getting old.

i miss that lady who made cookies and painted pictures and sewed late at night.

she needs to come back.

i really miss that girl.

this busy, tired, scattered, zoned out person who is living in my head needs to leave.

these pictures have nothing to do with that little pity party.

these are the cows across the road from our front door.
i love to watch them wander around that field.
this day i was sunbathing while all my kids were gone for ONE WHOLE HOUR and there they were.
just chillin' at the only opening that i can get to for pictures.

i have this little voice in me that says "that is the picture you want… take it"
and for so long in my life i have ignored it.
there are lots of reasons i ignore it.
sometimes there are people with me and i don't want to stand out or have someone think "what is she doing?"
sometimes i don't have the right camera for the good shot.
sometimes i am driving and can't stop.
but about a year ago i promised myself that when i hear that voice i will do whatever i can to get the shot.

not wreck my car or anything but if im not running late than i will pull over and get it.
or i just let people wonder why i am taking a picture of something at Target.
because my mind works like that.

i can see the photo in my mind and it feels so good when i get it.

and i like that.

so…. i was lying there… in my swim suit… one hour alone… reading my book… and there come the cows.
i heard the voice.
i said "BUT…. but… it's my only hour"
sigh.

i got up and put on a skirt and flip flops and my big camera and into the ditch to see the cows.

i am so glad i did.

i am ALWAYS glad i did.

and a lot of times it's not a super AMAZING photo but it's really just the process of looking through the lens.
finding the focus.
catching the light.

and i guess on these jammed packed days that send me to bed exhausted, i need that little moment.

a reminder that i am creative…created to be creative.
it's in there.
and sometimes i don't get to it as often as i would like but it doesn't go away.